Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Gambling on war

Well known on line bookmaker: As part of a service that is 2nd to none for those who love a bet, I will now be offering punters bets on wars our country is involved in.  First, that mecca of conflicts with uncertain outcomes, the Middle East, where I have framed a market for the upcoming 'A Death Cult' versus 'Team Australia'.  I grant you, there is some uncertainty about what will constitute a 'win' in this match up, but because the contest involves 'A Death Cult', for this introductory betting on war offer, I will pay out on any death cult that comes up against 'Team Australia'.  If the Kurds make territorial advances or if Kurdistan receives recognition as a State, I will pay a place dividend for those who have backed 'Team Australia'each way.  If a new axis of evil is identified, with 'A Death Cult' forming an alliance with a rogue state, no matter how shifting that alliance, I will pay place backers of 'A Death Cult' a dividend better than any TAB or online bookmaker framing a market on international conflicts.  Should a leader of a country that is a friend of 'Team Australia' declare 'Mission Accomplished' the free world will be a freer place and all win bets on 'Team Australia' will be paid, even if there is a protest.  If Iraq or Syria falls & 'A Death Cult' forms a caliphate, then if you've backed 'A Death Cult' consider yourself a winner.  Finally, we have our special bets.  Should the 'Team Australia' forces be farewelled by a tearful Senator Sarah Hansen-Young, the first 15 punters wagering on this contest will receive twice their initial stake back, no matter what the outcome of the conflict.  Also, remember, my special offer of a bonus $250 free bet if this is your first bet with me.  And as always, gamble responsibly.